How to Write the Perfect Wedding Speech
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DO:
Prepare in Advance
If there’s one piece of advice you must follow when giving a wedding speech, it’s this: Don’t wing it. Remember the last wedding when Uncle Tim took the mic for 15 cringeworthy minutes? Don’t be Uncle Tim. Avoid making a speech that’s memorable for all the wrong reasons by preparing in advance. Record yourself practicing, rehearse in front of a friend and keep it concise. A good speech should be around two to five minutes.
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Be Authentic
If you’re sharing a story or anecdote, don’t try too hard to be funny. There’s nothing more awkward than a joke that lands flat. Instead, connect with the audience by speaking from the heart. If you choose a topic you genuinely want to share, you’ll feel more relaxed speaking about it and come off more confident, too.
Keep it Clean
It’s a toast, not a roast! Remember that your audience may include older relatives, plus-ones and colleagues. Don’t embarrass the newlyweds with crude jokes or stories they wouldn’t want grandma hearing. If you’re not sure if it’s appropriate, err on the side of caution and save the juicy stuff for the rehearsal dinner.
Your toast can be this breezy and fun — with the help of our tips.
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DON'T
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Use Inside Jokes
Inside jokes might get a laugh or two out of the wedding party, but they’ll probably go over everyone else’s heads. Avoid the confused looks and blank stares by writing your speech with the larger audience in mind, or include the backstory so that everyone can follow along.
Drink Too Much
It might be tempting to hit the open bar for a little liquid courage before your speech, but save the celebrating for after. You don’t want to be up there slurring your words or worse, forgetting your lines. Order a glass of champagne, but hold off on drinking it so you have a full glass to raise at the end of your toast.
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It's okay to be vulnerable in a toast! Our outline demonstrates a great example.
An Example Outline
If you’re having trouble organizing your thoughts, you might consider using this outline to help structure what you want to say.
- Introduce yourself. Briefly explain how you know the bride or groom.
Hello everyone! I’m Sara, the bride’s youngest sister. - Be vulnerable. Share a short story or anecdote that illustrates who that person is to you.
If you can’t already tell, I’m a pretty nervous person. Unlike my sister! When we were growing up, Amy was the confident one. I’d come to her with all my worries and she would always smile and say the same thing: “It’s gonna be great.” This became my personal mantra for getting through everything from school presentations to school dances and later, job interviews. I only kept it together because I had Amy’s unwavering support … - Pivot to talking about the couple. Explain why you think the newlyweds are a good match.
If you ever have the opportunity to play poker with Amy, don’t. She is the type of person who always maintains her composure. It’s what makes her a great therapist and an even better sister. She has the uncanny ability to stay calm in any situation. So, when the tables were turned and she nervously came to me for reassurance before her first date with Jordan, I knew it was the beginning of something special … - Show gratitude. Don’t forget to give thanks where necessary.
Jordan, you’re the only person I’ve ever met who can crack Amy’s poker face. When she’s around you, there’s just no hiding how giddy she is, and I’m so honored to be here today to witness it. - Raise your glass. Wrap up your thoughts with any wishes or advice for the new couple.
Cheers to Jordan and Amy as they begin this new chapter together. All I can say is this: It’s gonna be great.
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Not sure where to start?
Reflect on these prompts to get the creative juices flowing.
- When you first met the bride or groom, what bonded you as friends?
- Have you shared any moments together where things didn’t go as planned?
- What was the most fun or interesting thing that you’ve done together?
- Do the newlyweds have any strange hobbies or quirks that they share?
- What inspires you about their relationship?
- How did the newlyweds meet? What was your first impression?
- What does each partner bring out in the other?
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